Anybody Wanna Take Me Home?
Thanks to all of you who forwarded this along to friends and family, and a very big thank you to Barbara, who offered to take Cutie in. The power of the internet... which is the main issue of the next cause I'll be posting about: the strike.
**DISCLAIMER: I am totally about to pull an Ellen on all of you.**
I haven't felt much real emotion in quite a while. Not since Felicity Season Two if I remember correctly.
Well this beagle to my right changed all that.
Tonight I came home and parked next to my apartment complex. A little background. I live not in the worst of neighborhoods, but definitely not the nicest. Some friends have swung by and said they liked the place, others have asked if they should get their tetanus shot first. The cul de sac next to my apartment is a bit shady. Drug deals happen on occasion (Sonny's gotta make money somehow). My backyard is the 405. Friends often call to ask if I can look out my window and update them on traffic. To which the answer is always, "Don't even bother." (Seriously, it's neverending here.)
Anyway, I tell you this so you can imagine the setting in which this beagle came up to me, starving and caked in mud/poop, kind of hard to discern the two. There are no yards around, just cars whizzing by in the background.
I'll call this beagle "Cutie" since that's what she seemed to respond to, and also because it rhymes with her last name, "Patooty." So Cutie Patooty walked right up to me and I knelt down to pet her and was immediately thrown back by her awful stench. She smelled like she was just born from an asshole. Like she had literally stayed in an ass for nine months, growing and feeding, and decided to come out with all the surrounding entrails. So she was dirty, got it? OK.
She seemed to be begging for food. I know this because she audibly said so. She kept mumbling something about KFC.
Dirty, starving, it was like running into the canine Lindsay Lohan. Clearly, she'd been out and about for a while. Cutie, not Lindsay. But if you had to call only one of these two a bitch, it certainly wouldn't be Cutie. She was the nicest, dare I say, cutest dog in the world. Mild mannered and quiet, she seemed tired and out of it, so I led her around the cul de sac to see if anyone had lost her. No one was around. So I figured I at least had to clean her.
My building doesn't allow dogs, so I picked her up and snuck her into my apartment. Gave her a bath, which she actually seemed to enjoy. Gave her what little food I had in my kitchen (Trader Joe's chicken egg rolls). And gave her a few stuffed toys to play with (not really sure why I had stuffed toys in my closet).
After all of this, Cutie started to pour on the charm. She'd just follow me around and nuzzle up next to my leg. I don't even have a comfortable leg, it's very boney. All she wanted was human touch. And with this, we shared something very much in common.
I didn't know what to do, so I started calling the local shelters. No one picked up, all closed. My friend, Chris, graciously came over and we decided to at least check out a shelter nearby that was listed as closed. There were two people working there, and they kindly let us in. They took the dog and examined her. I started asking questions, and somehow in a flurry of action, the next thing I knew, Cutie was locked away in what looked like maximum security prison.
Don't get me wrong, the shelter and those two workers seemed nice, and I'm sure they're taking great care of her, but it was incredibly depressing watching Cutie being taken away. My friend Chris can confirm that when they took her, she would not budge from my leg. They had to drag her off to the holding cells. Pretty sure my facial expression matched the one I had when I first watched Bambi lose his mother.
Now, I have the option as the "source" to adopt her within the next 48 hours, and I only have to pay $10 for all the fees. However, I cannot. Again, my apartment is small and horrible, and even if it wasn't, my building doesn't allow pets.
Which is why I turn to all of you LA-based readers. If you know of a good person, or you yourself are a good person, who wants to adopt Cutie, then please let me know.
Mr. Vick, please stop emailing me.
They hold the dog for 10 business days to see if the owner comes to claim her, but the request to adopt can be put in now, so that in the very likely case that the owner doesn't, the dog goes to you.
You can go to this website and request to adopt her yourself for $86-91.
Either way, Cutie is the best dog I've ever met. Beagles are know to be dogs with the least amount of health problems. All they want to do is sniff, hang out with a yellow bird and solve a crime or two (I think she might be part-basset hound). The shelter thinks she's about 1 year and 3 months old. She weighs about 30 lbs.
She never barked once while I was with her. She ate her eggrolls with chopsticks. And she made my bed after she peed in it. This is usually how my dates go. But unlike those dates, Cutie actually made me feel warm inside. (pausing for you to finish rolling your eyes) So, if you live in LA, please ask around and holler. I'd really like her to end up in a good home, and maybe I could even come visit once in a while?
MP3: "Anybody Wanna Take Me Home?" - Ryan Adams
[buy album] [myspace] [more tracks]